Deja Vu

I mostly wanted to write this blog to show my thanks for all the people who I am so grateful for lately. First off, I wanted to write a blog last week about how thankful I am for all the nurses at Orem Community Hospital. They were all just wonderful and made my experience a million times better than the first time around. Anyway, now I have more people to thank at the same hospital.

For those of you who haven't heard, I was back there exactly a week after Jaysen was born. I'll try to not be too graphic with this post...it isn't exactly as "pretty" as a birth story is. So, if you don't want to hear about gross stuff that has to do with pregnancy stop reading now. I figure most of my readers are women or moms and won't be disturbed by it.

Everything was going great. I was healing well and starting to get used to being up with the baby at night. My bleeding was minimal and my cramping was going away. It was Tuesday morning, 3:30am and I had just finished feeding Jaysen and got him back to sleep. I went to the bathroom before going back to bed myself when I noticed I had bled a lot. A lot more than I had been, and a lot more than what seemed normal. I remember the nurse telling me before I discharged the hospital that if I bled a lot it wasn't anything to worry about unless I bled through another pad in an hour. I went back to bed and hadn't even got comfortable when I realized I had just bled a lot more. I did what anyone in this day and age does and got out my phone. I checked Google to see how serious all this bleeding was. Everything pretty much said that a lot of bleeding meant to call the doctor. Being almost 4 am I wasn't really sure how to do that. So I woke up Jake and told him what was going on. He pointed out that my doctor might be on call since he was on call last Tuesday morning. He called the hospital and sure enough it was my doctor. He told Jake that I should be ok and that if I were still bleeding in the morning to come to his office. Jake also talked to his mom who is a nurse and she said almost the same thing. That I should lay down and see if it goes away in the next half hour. She said it might be because I had such minimal bleeding that maybe it was just catching up.

When he got off the phone I asked him for a blessing. Then I laid down and asked Jake if he could get me a granola bar because I was hungry and thought that might help. (BIGGEST MISTAKE) I hadn't been laying down for even 10 min when I told Jake I had better use the bathroom because it seemed like I had bled a lot again. When I got to the bathroom I discovered not only had I bled a lot but I was passing blood clots. Huge blood clots. Like the size of my hand. I didn't even have to think twice before telling Jake we had to go to the hospital and to call his mom. He first called the doctor back and told him what was going on. He told us to go to the ER at Orem Community and he would meet us there. What a blessing that he was on call!

Jake gathered up what we would need for the boys and got them in the car while I tried my best to get all cleaned up. I decided to wear a pair of pj pants that I knew I would be ok with throwing away. When we got to the hospital Jake's mom was there to take the boys. I called my mom to let her know what was going on when I realized that it was 5:00 am on Tuesday morning. The exact same time I had called her the week before to let her know I was in labor. Deja Vu.

I got all checked in and in a room. I told the nurse I wanted to stay in the wheel chair in case they needed to take me somewhere. I knew the min I stood up there would be blood everywhere. I wasn't in any pain, thank goodness, but I was having cramps that felt a lot like contractions every few min. I was having really bad anxiety, though. I told Jake that on the pain scale my pain was at a 1 and my anxiety was a 10.5. Everything was making me cry. The nurse said she was going to do my IV and I started crying. I asked Jake to let Jennifer know what was going on, I cried again, because I miss her. I think I cried more while in the ER than I have cried in the last year. Anyway, I got my IV and they said they were going to take me to ultrasound. The doctor said what was probably going on was that a piece of the placenta got missed and my body was trying to get rid of it. They would do an ultrasound and then more than likely do a D&C (which basically cleans me out, if you didn't know.)

Time to get into the bed and into a gown. I wasn't exactly sure how to do this because while I had been sitting in the wheel chair less than half an hour I had bled so much it was on the floor. I realized it didn't matter what kind of mess I made because I was in a hospital and there was nothing I could do about it.

And this is where a huge thanks to my wonderful husband comes in. I don't know many men who would be ok with stuff like this. Grated, in emergency situations you just learn to deal, but Jake is just amazing. He helped me into the bathroom and we decided the best thing to do was to just cut my pants off while I was on the toilet. Pulling them off was near impossible considering I really didn't want to stand and they were soaked in blood. A nurse grabbed some scissors and off came my pants. Like I said, I knew I would be throwing them away anyway and I'm glad I thought of that.

Eventually, I got into a gown and into bed. The ER doctor came and told me that they had talked to my doctor and decided that we would forego the ultrasound and take my straight to surgery for the D&C. Then came the dreaded question, "when did you eat last?" Well, silly me, had eaten a granola bar at 4. It was now 7:30. The means it had only been 3 1/2 hours since I had eaten. The anesthesiologist came to go over paper work with me and have me sign my life away. He explained the risks of putting me under with food in my stomach and said we would leave it up to the doctor. If he thought we could wait, we would, if not, and it was too much of an emergency we would just risk it. My doctor came and checked me and decided that my bleeding had slowed enough that we could wait until the 6 hours since I had eaten were up. That meant 10:00.

Stupid granola bar. So there we were, stuck in the ER simply waiting for time to pass. I was tired and hungry and very uncomfortable. Tick tock. Tick tock. Time was killing me. The tears just kept coming. The staff was very nice and good about making sure I had everything they could possibly give me to make me more comfortable. They even brought in a little gift basket with some candy (not that I could it eat, but it was a nice thought.)

Jake ran to his parents house to take his mom the milk I had pumped for the baby. I wouldn't be able to nurse for 24 hours after surgery so I was trying to give him as much milk as possible. When he came back his dad was with him and they gave me a blessing. I was a lot more calm after that. I can't even express how grateful I am for priesthood blessings. They truly are one of my biggest testimony/faith builders.

The next 2 hours were some of the longest of my life. Waiting. Uncomfortable. Scared. Tired. Hungry. Just awful. But eventually the time came that the nurses from the OR came to take me to surgery. I remember being wheeled to OR, nurses getting things prepped in the room, and then opening my eyes. I don't remember closing them but I could have sworn I blinked and it was all over. The only way I knew I was done was that when I went in the clock said 11 something and when I opened my eyes it was after 12.

I was worried I would wake up feeling like I did after my wisdom teeth (the only other time I've been put under.) But I actually felt great. I wasn't groggy or out of it at all. I just remember coughing a lot because of the tube I had down my throat. Within a couple minutes they wheeled me to another spot in the hospital where Jake was waiting for me. He ran home to get me some clothes to wear (considering I now had no pants) and I ate (inhaled) some crackers. When he got back I was able to get dressed and leave just like that.

We went to Jake's parents and decided to stay for the day. I couldn't wait to kiss my babies who I had been thinking about and missing all day. It was SO nice to have the extra help and words just can't express how thankful I am for Jake's mom and sister for all their help that day. Kyler was so lucky to be able to spend the day with his cousins and even got to go to the Tracey Aviary. Jake and I both got a good nap in and then were able to have dinner with his family.

Now it is Monday night again...and I really don't plan on going to the hospital again tonight. For the first time in 2 weeks I am going to get to my "Tuesday To-do List".

Once again I really just want to express my thanks to everyone that has been so kind and helpful the past couple of weeks. My family, who have all been so willing to help out in any way they possibly can. Jake's family, (a big thanks to Robyn and Ally) who helped us so much with Kyler and Jaysen and making sure Jake took good care of me (although, I'm sure I wouldn't ever have to worry about that.) My ward members who brought us dinner and have been checking on me. My doctor for being a great doctor and for being on call. All the nurses and staff who were exceptionally kind to me in every area of the hospital that I was. And all my friends who have been checking on me and making sure I am taken care of. Jennifer, for keeping me company and helping me through all my emotions and anxiety lately, and always. And a final thanks to everyone that offered prayers in my behalf. That was the biggest help of all. I needed those prayers and I know they were answered. Heavenly Father is always there for us and always watching over us. He doesn't expect us to do anything alone and never leaves us when we need him the most. I am so grateful for the faith and knowledge that I have, knowing that as hard as things were I was not alone and I would get through it all just fine.

And now, you'll be happy to know, that all is well. I am healing up great and, besides having a newborn, getting my energy back. Let's just say it will be a very long while before I consider having anymore kids! :)

Jaysen is Here!!

Jaysen has finally made his arrival and we couldn't be more happy! He is so precious, happy, and healthy. He has been a good eater right from the start and I really hope it stays that way. He is only 6 days old but so far he is a great baby. And now time for his birth story. Granted, this is labor, and this is so that I don't have to write it in my journal. It will contain all the gory details.

First, a little background. Jaysen's due date was 6-20-13. I had my last doctor's appointment on Tuesday, 6-4-13. At that appointment I was dilated to 3 cm and 60 % effaced. That made me excited to know that I was getting closer but at the same time I knew that it didn't mean a lot. I was dilated to a 4 with Kyler for 4 days before I had him so I knew I had to be patient. That night I had some contractions and they got as close as 5 min apart only not very consistent. I made sure I had as much ready as I could just in case we went to the hospital soon.

I went to bed at 10:30 and it seemed like the contractions started slowing down. By morning they had stopped. So it was off to work and back to life. The rest of the week was pretty normal, a few contractions here and there throughout the week. By the weekend I was getting tired and annoyed because the contractions were getting stronger but not any closer. Not to mention just having to have patience when everyone was asking about my progress. I did as much walking as I could on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.

I went to bed on Monday thinking about my to-do list for the next day. At 1:30 I woke up with contractions. They were about 20 min apart and I tried to sleep but every time I had one I woke up so I could time it. Soon they were 15 min and then 10. About every 3 or 4 were strong and the rest I could hardly feel. By 3:30 they were around 5 min apart. They started getting stronger and it was about 4:00 that I decided I should at least wake Jake up. I told him we should probably start getting ready. He rolled over like he didn't believe me. I waited until after the next contraction and then told him again that it was time to get up. He asked me how far apart and how long the contractions were, mostly because I  think he was trying to convince me he could sleep longer. It didn't work and I told him we should at least get everything packed up just in case. As we were getting ready they were getting stronger and sometimes only 2 1/2 min apart. It took us about an hour to get up and packed and get everything in the car.

We decided to take Kyler to Jake's parents since they were close by. As we got closer to the hospital (Orem Community) - which is about 5 min before his parents house- I told Jake I wanted to go to the hospital first and have someone come pick Kyler up from there. My contractions were getting stronger and stronger and now that we were headed to the hospital I had stopped timing. Jake convinced me that it was only an extra 10 min and we would hurry. I wasn't worried about the baby coming too soon, I was just in a lot of pain. We dropped Kyler off and then finally made it to the hospital around 5:30.

As we pulled up I had a contraction that brought me to tears. That never happened with Kyler. The only time I cried with him was when I got my IV put in. And I remember having bad contractions but the pain was manageable. I mean I was at the hospital 8 hours before I decided I was tired and might as well get an epidural. Anyway, we got into the admitting room and the nurse said I was at a 4. I was started thinking, great, he is posterior like Kyler was and I'm not going to progress very quickly. At this point I would just like to take a moment to thank the nurse. She showed Jake how to push on my legs to help relieve the pain from the contractions. It was a life saver.

They decided to admit me and my doctor was already at the hospital so that was a plus. The only bad thing was that it was shift change so getting to a room took a little longer than normal. Before I got to my room the nurse asked me what my "pain goal" was. Meaning what number would I have to be at before I would want an epidural. I told her a 7 and that I was at about a 5 at the time. By the next couple of contractions I decided I was at a 6 and by the time she came to check on me again I was at a 7 and telling Jake to get me the epidural. As soon as we got to the room the nurse started my IV. I asked her to numb it first and I think that helped a little because it wasn't too painful and she did a great job. Within about 5 min the anesthesiologist was there and setting up to do my epidural. I was so grateful for that.

I'm not sure how far apart they were but those contractions were so painful. It's funny because my sister-in-law and I were talking about labor a few weeks prior and she was saying how contractions were the worst pain she had ever felt. I disagreed because with Kyler they really didn't seem that bad and even right up until I had the epidural I was doing ok, pain wise. Anyway, I know what she means now. Worst. Pain. Ever. So they started the epidural and I was so relieved. With Kyler I swear it only took 5 min, tops, and I didn't feel anything because I was more focused on the contractions. This time was not like that. I was in so much pain I couldn't arch my back just right and he was having trouble getting it in. I just wasn't relaxed enough between having contractions and trying not to think about the giant needle going into my back. At one point I thought I was going to break Jake's thumb off because I was squeezing so hard, trying not to move during a contraction. After what seemed like an eternity, although, it was more like 20 min, the epidural was in and I could feel the medicine starting to work. The nurse checked me again and I was shocked to hear that I was at a 6 and I had only been there an hour and a half. Not long after that my doctor came in and broke my water. He checked me and said I was at a 7. Once again, thanking the nurse for being so positive about my progression and saying I didn't need the Pitocin and I could have him within the hour. (If you know Kyler's birth story you would know that the nurse was not helpful at all in telling me with a frowny face that I was still only at a 5 - which burst my bubble and that's when I put my hands in the air and said just give me the epidural.)

The next time she came in I was at an 8 and not much longer it was a 9. The hour was up and she said I was just about there. I was at a 9 for another half hour or so and she said it was because the cervix was stuck on part of his head and just didn't want to budge. She talked to the doctor and decided to hook me up to a little Pitocin, hoping that would help to just push him down the little bit that was needed. I got all hooked up and she had me push a few times, trying to get that last centimeter. By this time I was excited to be getting so close and at the same time nervous because I was so tired I didn't know if I would have the energy to push. Between the times she was having me push I was falling asleep. Finally she decided I was close enough and went to get the doctor. This was a little after 10:00 am.

I loved the epidural. It was different from the first one I had, which gave me no feeling, what-so-ever. This one took the edge off and made it so I couldn't feel the contractions at all, just pressure. The doctor came in and checked me and said that the reason he was stuck at a 9 for so long was because he was sideways instead of face down. He had me do one push and he flipped him around. Then he started getting ready to deliver. I remember feeling a lot of pressure and having to breathe through the contraction in order to not push. Jake was sure to tell me that I couldn't push because no one was there to catch him yet.

Next thing I knew the doctor was ready and we were just waiting for the next contraction so that I could push. The first one came and I pushed 4 times and then we waited for the next one. I found it so funny how calm things were. Everyone just patiently waiting and me trying to not fall asleep and the doctor talking to the nurse about how he wants to sell his house in a couple years. It went like this through 2 more contractions and then his head was out. The next contraction came and out he came, 10:34 am. About 10 min worth of pushing. Not too bad if I do say so myself.

And there he was, the cutest little purple, slimy blob I have ever seen. And so much hair! I was expecting a bald baby. Kyler was pretty bald except the very back of his head. And his hair was light brown. Jaysen has dark hair, just enough to cover his little head. Granted he wasn't born with as much hair as I have seen on some babies, but for my baby that was a lot.

Next, we made all the phone calls and sent all the texts out to let everyone know he was here. And after that I decided to try and feed him, a goal I had set after having Kyler. When Kyler was born I waited to feed him for awhile and I think that's why he had a hard time nursing, at first. Jaysen did great and latched on the very first time. I was so happy. The rest of the day with filled with visitors, returning text messages, feeding the baby, and counting down the minutes until I could sleep.

Kyler came with my sisters and wasn't so sure about the whole thing at first. He wanted nothing to do with me. I really don't blame him. I was in a hospital bed hooked up to all this weird stuff. I wouldn't want anything to do with me either. He kissed Jaysen on the head but I don't know if he actually understood who he was, just that he was a baby. By that evening, when he came back, he had started to warm up to me and was starting to understand that the baby was Jaysen. I think he is still wrapping his head around the fact that it is the same baby that was in my tummy. He has pointed to my fat gut a few times saying, "Jaysen" and then pointing to the baby, "Jaysen, two Jaysen's." I've had to explain that the baby came out of my tummy and there is only one Jaysen.

We are all adjusting well and I'm starting to get more sleep. Jaysen has some jaundice but other than that he is doing just great. We are so lucky to have two wonderful sons in our lives.