Deja Vu

I mostly wanted to write this blog to show my thanks for all the people who I am so grateful for lately. First off, I wanted to write a blog last week about how thankful I am for all the nurses at Orem Community Hospital. They were all just wonderful and made my experience a million times better than the first time around. Anyway, now I have more people to thank at the same hospital.

For those of you who haven't heard, I was back there exactly a week after Jaysen was born. I'll try to not be too graphic with this post...it isn't exactly as "pretty" as a birth story is. So, if you don't want to hear about gross stuff that has to do with pregnancy stop reading now. I figure most of my readers are women or moms and won't be disturbed by it.

Everything was going great. I was healing well and starting to get used to being up with the baby at night. My bleeding was minimal and my cramping was going away. It was Tuesday morning, 3:30am and I had just finished feeding Jaysen and got him back to sleep. I went to the bathroom before going back to bed myself when I noticed I had bled a lot. A lot more than I had been, and a lot more than what seemed normal. I remember the nurse telling me before I discharged the hospital that if I bled a lot it wasn't anything to worry about unless I bled through another pad in an hour. I went back to bed and hadn't even got comfortable when I realized I had just bled a lot more. I did what anyone in this day and age does and got out my phone. I checked Google to see how serious all this bleeding was. Everything pretty much said that a lot of bleeding meant to call the doctor. Being almost 4 am I wasn't really sure how to do that. So I woke up Jake and told him what was going on. He pointed out that my doctor might be on call since he was on call last Tuesday morning. He called the hospital and sure enough it was my doctor. He told Jake that I should be ok and that if I were still bleeding in the morning to come to his office. Jake also talked to his mom who is a nurse and she said almost the same thing. That I should lay down and see if it goes away in the next half hour. She said it might be because I had such minimal bleeding that maybe it was just catching up.

When he got off the phone I asked him for a blessing. Then I laid down and asked Jake if he could get me a granola bar because I was hungry and thought that might help. (BIGGEST MISTAKE) I hadn't been laying down for even 10 min when I told Jake I had better use the bathroom because it seemed like I had bled a lot again. When I got to the bathroom I discovered not only had I bled a lot but I was passing blood clots. Huge blood clots. Like the size of my hand. I didn't even have to think twice before telling Jake we had to go to the hospital and to call his mom. He first called the doctor back and told him what was going on. He told us to go to the ER at Orem Community and he would meet us there. What a blessing that he was on call!

Jake gathered up what we would need for the boys and got them in the car while I tried my best to get all cleaned up. I decided to wear a pair of pj pants that I knew I would be ok with throwing away. When we got to the hospital Jake's mom was there to take the boys. I called my mom to let her know what was going on when I realized that it was 5:00 am on Tuesday morning. The exact same time I had called her the week before to let her know I was in labor. Deja Vu.

I got all checked in and in a room. I told the nurse I wanted to stay in the wheel chair in case they needed to take me somewhere. I knew the min I stood up there would be blood everywhere. I wasn't in any pain, thank goodness, but I was having cramps that felt a lot like contractions every few min. I was having really bad anxiety, though. I told Jake that on the pain scale my pain was at a 1 and my anxiety was a 10.5. Everything was making me cry. The nurse said she was going to do my IV and I started crying. I asked Jake to let Jennifer know what was going on, I cried again, because I miss her. I think I cried more while in the ER than I have cried in the last year. Anyway, I got my IV and they said they were going to take me to ultrasound. The doctor said what was probably going on was that a piece of the placenta got missed and my body was trying to get rid of it. They would do an ultrasound and then more than likely do a D&C (which basically cleans me out, if you didn't know.)

Time to get into the bed and into a gown. I wasn't exactly sure how to do this because while I had been sitting in the wheel chair less than half an hour I had bled so much it was on the floor. I realized it didn't matter what kind of mess I made because I was in a hospital and there was nothing I could do about it.

And this is where a huge thanks to my wonderful husband comes in. I don't know many men who would be ok with stuff like this. Grated, in emergency situations you just learn to deal, but Jake is just amazing. He helped me into the bathroom and we decided the best thing to do was to just cut my pants off while I was on the toilet. Pulling them off was near impossible considering I really didn't want to stand and they were soaked in blood. A nurse grabbed some scissors and off came my pants. Like I said, I knew I would be throwing them away anyway and I'm glad I thought of that.

Eventually, I got into a gown and into bed. The ER doctor came and told me that they had talked to my doctor and decided that we would forego the ultrasound and take my straight to surgery for the D&C. Then came the dreaded question, "when did you eat last?" Well, silly me, had eaten a granola bar at 4. It was now 7:30. The means it had only been 3 1/2 hours since I had eaten. The anesthesiologist came to go over paper work with me and have me sign my life away. He explained the risks of putting me under with food in my stomach and said we would leave it up to the doctor. If he thought we could wait, we would, if not, and it was too much of an emergency we would just risk it. My doctor came and checked me and decided that my bleeding had slowed enough that we could wait until the 6 hours since I had eaten were up. That meant 10:00.

Stupid granola bar. So there we were, stuck in the ER simply waiting for time to pass. I was tired and hungry and very uncomfortable. Tick tock. Tick tock. Time was killing me. The tears just kept coming. The staff was very nice and good about making sure I had everything they could possibly give me to make me more comfortable. They even brought in a little gift basket with some candy (not that I could it eat, but it was a nice thought.)

Jake ran to his parents house to take his mom the milk I had pumped for the baby. I wouldn't be able to nurse for 24 hours after surgery so I was trying to give him as much milk as possible. When he came back his dad was with him and they gave me a blessing. I was a lot more calm after that. I can't even express how grateful I am for priesthood blessings. They truly are one of my biggest testimony/faith builders.

The next 2 hours were some of the longest of my life. Waiting. Uncomfortable. Scared. Tired. Hungry. Just awful. But eventually the time came that the nurses from the OR came to take me to surgery. I remember being wheeled to OR, nurses getting things prepped in the room, and then opening my eyes. I don't remember closing them but I could have sworn I blinked and it was all over. The only way I knew I was done was that when I went in the clock said 11 something and when I opened my eyes it was after 12.

I was worried I would wake up feeling like I did after my wisdom teeth (the only other time I've been put under.) But I actually felt great. I wasn't groggy or out of it at all. I just remember coughing a lot because of the tube I had down my throat. Within a couple minutes they wheeled me to another spot in the hospital where Jake was waiting for me. He ran home to get me some clothes to wear (considering I now had no pants) and I ate (inhaled) some crackers. When he got back I was able to get dressed and leave just like that.

We went to Jake's parents and decided to stay for the day. I couldn't wait to kiss my babies who I had been thinking about and missing all day. It was SO nice to have the extra help and words just can't express how thankful I am for Jake's mom and sister for all their help that day. Kyler was so lucky to be able to spend the day with his cousins and even got to go to the Tracey Aviary. Jake and I both got a good nap in and then were able to have dinner with his family.

Now it is Monday night again...and I really don't plan on going to the hospital again tonight. For the first time in 2 weeks I am going to get to my "Tuesday To-do List".

Once again I really just want to express my thanks to everyone that has been so kind and helpful the past couple of weeks. My family, who have all been so willing to help out in any way they possibly can. Jake's family, (a big thanks to Robyn and Ally) who helped us so much with Kyler and Jaysen and making sure Jake took good care of me (although, I'm sure I wouldn't ever have to worry about that.) My ward members who brought us dinner and have been checking on me. My doctor for being a great doctor and for being on call. All the nurses and staff who were exceptionally kind to me in every area of the hospital that I was. And all my friends who have been checking on me and making sure I am taken care of. Jennifer, for keeping me company and helping me through all my emotions and anxiety lately, and always. And a final thanks to everyone that offered prayers in my behalf. That was the biggest help of all. I needed those prayers and I know they were answered. Heavenly Father is always there for us and always watching over us. He doesn't expect us to do anything alone and never leaves us when we need him the most. I am so grateful for the faith and knowledge that I have, knowing that as hard as things were I was not alone and I would get through it all just fine.

And now, you'll be happy to know, that all is well. I am healing up great and, besides having a newborn, getting my energy back. Let's just say it will be a very long while before I consider having anymore kids! :)